hmmmm.... drowning

Hai uolsss....

hidup akak dipenohi dengan......kursus!!

Kursus orientasi. kursus penyeliaan bahagian 1, 2 ,3. Next kursus spbt. Kursus apa lagi ado. Semua tu kena buat untuk sahkan jawatan.

Tapi memang diorg cakap staff baru memang banyak kursus kena attend. Of course masuk dalam lppt.

Speaking of lppt. Lppt tu ialah mcm borang KPI kau camtu kena isik. Nanti hod and ketua research group akan bagi markah. Kenapakah lppt penting? sebab nanti kau nak sahkan jawatan average markah kau WAJIB 80%.

Mamposlah uollsss. Pensyarah RU ada 7P kena fullfil. Aku paper xde publish apa tahun ni. And then cuma ada grant dalam kelulusan and teaching. BTW, below 60% kau kena exit policy. Tapi utk sahkan jawatan average kena 80% dalam masa 1 ke 3 tahun. WAJIB sahkan jawatan dalam 3 tahun kalau tak kau kena terminate. Kesimpulannya markah kau kena 80% dalam masa 3 tahun ni.
Dah tu student pun aku xde ni baik co sv ataupun main sv. Confirmlah markah sikit.

Lets say markah kau skrg 60%, next year markah lppt kau kena 100% ya utk sahkan jawatan. Kau mampoooo nak dpt 100%. 100% tu biasanya ketua jabatan atau dekan ke ketua RG ke. Merasalah kauuuuu.

Akak nak nangis sekarang!.

note *** sekarang nak pi kursus xde masalah sbb lecturer lain ada hutang slot lab dengan hakak sbb hakak jagakan lab depa. So akak kumpul hutang2 slot depa nnt akak guna time pi kursus. Selesai masalah makkkkk. EMak pun happy takyah runsing nak pi kursus sapa nak ganti lab.

Perkara paling menyampah.

So as pensyarah baru ada certain kursus wajib kau kena amek. Depa nanti invite pergi kursus pastu kat hujung ayat:

Kehadiran adalah WAJIB (in capital)

So betul2 wajib la tu. 

Actually mak tak kesah pun kena pi Kursus ke apa tapi bila tarikh clash dgn hari lecture/lab tu masalah.

Clash dgn tarikh lab or lecture ok lagi sbb boleh ganti. Tapi bila clash dgn Lab memang parah sbb ko kena tgk jadual Engineer/technician jaga lab pulak. And then, pulak suppose ko kena cari lecturer lain cover kalau kau pi kursus. Ni pun satu masalah sbb kau dah la lect baru tak kenal org tetiba nak suh org coverkan.

Akhir sekali emak terpaksa lah ckp kat engineer or tech mintak ganti hari lain.

2 months

so ya'all akak dah 2 bulan berkerja di university ternama Johor ni.

Kerja ok. Tapi faham2 je lah RU, nak fullfil research requirement tu kan.

And then journal fees max RM3000.

Pastu suh publish Q1 Q2. Akak was like...hmmmmmmm.

So depa suh cari yg free sajok.... Another hmmmmmmmm....

Ya ampunnn..kadang2 almost gave up dgn network depa yang asyik down tu je. Pastu selalu black out bila hujan lebat guruh petir. Nak bukak email pun lembab nak loading. Tabahkan lah hatikewwww.

Everything else is good.

Matilah ratu komplen.

Breakdown moment of a Mom.

Well... often bila emak2 bercuti tak bawak anak orang dok start labelling that she's not a good mother.
Kau tau tak how stressful it is be a stay at home mom? Esp when anak kau setahun satu?
Lagi2 jenis suami kau tak membantu pastu anak kau kecik2. Omaigoddd.
Pastu laki kau jenis nak anak setahun satu?
Double omaigod.

Depression.

Kau rasa berapa ramai emak2 yang kena depression?

Kau nampak dia happy kan? Nampak happy kan dengan husband?
Tiba2 kau dengar cerita dia bunuh diri.
Sebab,
Dia depress. Duduk jauh dari husband. Semua dia kena buat from A to Z.
Kerja. Balik kerja kena masak. Lepas tu tgk homework anak. Kemas rumah. Basuh kain. Then tido.  The cycle goes on. At the end of the day, she 's having a meltdown. Breakdown. Having to push herself soo much.

Terlampau paksa diri untuk jadi isteri/ibu yang baik.

So, to single Mom/PJJ wife(mom), Everything doesn't have to be perfect. Learn to embrace imperfection. It's ok if you want a holiday. Campak je anak kat laki kau. Kau pegi lah bergembira dgn kawan2 sekejap. Biar je lah orang mengata kau, sbb at the end of the day bukan dia yang jaga anak2 kau.
It's ok if anak kau tak dapat no 1 dalam kelas. Even kelas corot pun(ini anak aku lah. kelas no 6). Kalau laki kau kaya kau suruh la dia hire maid. Ingat tak penat ke nak buat kerja rumah sedangkan dalam islam bukan wajib pun.

Akak sekarang ikut konsep. I do what I like, I never going to change, never going to trade (matilah lirik lagu BTS-IDOL). Maksud akak dari kau stress2, baik lah kau buat apa yang kau suka. I know sometimes money is tight, tapi bila kau ada duit kau belilah apa yang kau suka dulu. Awas eh bukan akak suh shopping lebih2 sampai berhutang. Maksudnya lebihkan kegembiraan diri sendiri dulu baru kau gembirakan orang lain.

And now, I started to block orang2 yang tak memberi faedah dalam hidup akak sekadar mengomen dan mengomplain. you dont need this kind of negtivity in your life.

-DONE-

Kereta breakdown.

Ok. I have lab to supervise at 8am this morning. I missed my alarm this morning and woke up late. So I decided to use tol highway instead of using normal route. Then I started to drive 120km/h. After 15 minutes, my car started to make a noisy sound. Of course I ignore it, why?

1. Because I'm typical woman
2. I am f****g late for my lab

Then, near to the tolgate it makes noisier sound I decided to stop at rnr. Just about after paying the tol's fees. My car is died. DEAD.

So sempat akak parking elok2 kat rnr.

Called husband. He remind me that he told me to fill in the engine oil. Well..... Why did he told me to do so? I'm a typical women I dont even fu***g know where to check the engine oil.

So, he's not being helpful and he is not around Johor at the moment. So I ignore his call because I need to call my siblings which happens to be in nearest area. My oldest sister lives in Kulai which is 15 minutes away, and she has 2 cars and 1 van but all manual. My younger sister work in Senai just 5-7 minutes from 'my car breakdown area' but she's working and thank god her car is automatic transmission.

So my eldest sister pick me up at service area and bring me to my younger sister workplace tp pick up her car key and I drove her myvi car to office.

So akak mintak tolong lect lain coverkan kejap lab but I got scolded for that. Because at the same day I actually have a course to attend. Then I decided to email the course's organiser telling them that I'll be late and I supervise the lab until 11am then go to the course.

I never knew that I have to find replacement if I cannot attend the lab supervision. I thought for 4 groups of students(16 people) 1 supervisor is enough to cover. So that's my mistakes to be honest since I'm practically new I dont know this kind of stuff.

In upm where I previously worked, I supervised like 20++ students per lab on my own. I guess different university have different requirement.

Back to my old and rusty car. To be honest that car is old. Since 2004. So it is 14 years old. I decided to leave the car at service area until I got paid.

Kan akak 1st month kerja. And belum gaji. And I telll youuu kereta akak tu mcm tau2 je nak gaji next week kannn??

Omgggg...

Noooo.. I'm not going to buy new car at the moment since I have soooo many debt to be cleared first.

***update from foreman, the car is indeed running out of engine oil. And need to be overhaul.

There goes my paid this month.