Sunday, September 23, 2018

Breakdown moment of a Mom.

Well... often bila emak2 bercuti tak bawak anak orang dok start labelling that she's not a good mother.
Kau tau tak how stressful it is be a stay at home mom? Esp when anak kau setahun satu?
Lagi2 jenis suami kau tak membantu pastu anak kau kecik2. Omaigoddd.
Pastu laki kau jenis nak anak setahun satu?
Double omaigod.

Depression.

Kau rasa berapa ramai emak2 yang kena depression?

Kau nampak dia happy kan? Nampak happy kan dengan husband?
Tiba2 kau dengar cerita dia bunuh diri.
Sebab,
Dia depress. Duduk jauh dari husband. Semua dia kena buat from A to Z.
Kerja. Balik kerja kena masak. Lepas tu tgk homework anak. Kemas rumah. Basuh kain. Then tido.  The cycle goes on. At the end of the day, she 's having a meltdown. Breakdown. Having to push herself soo much.

Terlampau paksa diri untuk jadi isteri/ibu yang baik.

So, to single Mom/PJJ wife(mom), Everything doesn't have to be perfect. Learn to embrace imperfection. It's ok if you want a holiday. Campak je anak kat laki kau. Kau pegi lah bergembira dgn kawan2 sekejap. Biar je lah orang mengata kau, sbb at the end of the day bukan dia yang jaga anak2 kau.
It's ok if anak kau tak dapat no 1 dalam kelas. Even kelas corot pun(ini anak aku lah. kelas no 6). Kalau laki kau kaya kau suruh la dia hire maid. Ingat tak penat ke nak buat kerja rumah sedangkan dalam islam bukan wajib pun.

Akak sekarang ikut konsep. I do what I like, I never going to change, never going to trade (matilah lirik lagu BTS-IDOL). Maksud akak dari kau stress2, baik lah kau buat apa yang kau suka. I know sometimes money is tight, tapi bila kau ada duit kau belilah apa yang kau suka dulu. Awas eh bukan akak suh shopping lebih2 sampai berhutang. Maksudnya lebihkan kegembiraan diri sendiri dulu baru kau gembirakan orang lain.

And now, I started to block orang2 yang tak memberi faedah dalam hidup akak sekadar mengomen dan mengomplain. you dont need this kind of negtivity in your life.

-DONE-

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Kereta breakdown.

Ok. I have lab to supervise at 8am this morning. I missed my alarm this morning and woke up late. So I decided to use tol highway instead of using normal route. Then I started to drive 120km/h. After 15 minutes, my car started to make a noisy sound. Of course I ignore it, why?

1. Because I'm typical woman
2. I am f****g late for my lab

Then, near to the tolgate it makes noisier sound I decided to stop at rnr. Just about after paying the tol's fees. My car is died. DEAD.

So sempat akak parking elok2 kat rnr.

Called husband. He remind me that he told me to fill in the engine oil. Well..... Why did he told me to do so? I'm a typical women I dont even fu***g know where to check the engine oil.

So, he's not being helpful and he is not around Johor at the moment. So I ignore his call because I need to call my siblings which happens to be in nearest area. My oldest sister lives in Kulai which is 15 minutes away, and she has 2 cars and 1 van but all manual. My younger sister work in Senai just 5-7 minutes from 'my car breakdown area' but she's working and thank god her car is automatic transmission.

So my eldest sister pick me up at service area and bring me to my younger sister workplace tp pick up her car key and I drove her myvi car to office.

So akak mintak tolong lect lain coverkan kejap lab but I got scolded for that. Because at the same day I actually have a course to attend. Then I decided to email the course's organiser telling them that I'll be late and I supervise the lab until 11am then go to the course.

I never knew that I have to find replacement if I cannot attend the lab supervision. I thought for 4 groups of students(16 people) 1 supervisor is enough to cover. So that's my mistakes to be honest since I'm practically new I dont know this kind of stuff.

In upm where I previously worked, I supervised like 20++ students per lab on my own. I guess different university have different requirement.

Back to my old and rusty car. To be honest that car is old. Since 2004. So it is 14 years old. I decided to leave the car at service area until I got paid.

Kan akak 1st month kerja. And belum gaji. And I telll youuu kereta akak tu mcm tau2 je nak gaji next week kannn??

Omgggg...

Noooo.. I'm not going to buy new car at the moment since I have soooo many debt to be cleared first.

***update from foreman, the car is indeed running out of engine oil. And need to be overhaul.

There goes my paid this month.

Monday, September 17, 2018

A month after

Hi y'alll....

Setelah sebulan, baru boleh buat matric card. Pitammmm.

Pastu muka kembang semangkuk sbb gemok. kejihhhhhhhh

Btw, term baru dah start sooooo merasaaa. Akak kena mengajar 4 lab sem ni. So kena la try buat experiment dulu tgk jadi ke tak. Haha.

Mula2 ala2 confuse jugak sbb dah lama x buat lab kennn. Tapi ok jeww.

Btw, sem ni je yg akak ajar lab. Next sem kena ajar robotic. Matilah Robotic!!
Killer subject U*M. Sebabnyaaaa, masa interview kau janji2 manismu willing nak tukar path ke robotic. So y'alll... merasalah kauuuuuu.
2nd reason, sbb dia hire akak adalah sbb lecturer lama yang ajar subject tu bersara. So akak ganti Prof tu sebenarnya. Rasakannnnnn

Jadual sem ni untuk akak agak hectic sbb almost everyday ada lab. Setakat assess lab tu je xde masalah. Tapi it comes with responsibility bg markah then tanda reports(long and short). And then you need to fulfilll Research Uni KPI. Which is research kena ada student postgrad, grant, ISI paper.

So, for lecturer, term period adalah waktu paling hectic. Kalau cuti sem baru boleh bernafas sikit. Tu pun masa tu la most lecturer tulis paper or buat proposal grant.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Update.

Akak bersiaran dari opis sebab boring sebab kau nak buat kerja apa semua x boleh sebab:

1. beban tugas staff x email lagi.
2. nak apply grant password and id depa x bg lagi.

Arini khamis. johor balik pukul 3.30pm. pkl 4 kang akak cabut lah.

Uolss... kenapakah internet disini lembab uolss... stress hakak nak upload file kat dropbox. Lepas tu uols system down berminggu nak buat matric card pun nan hadooooo.
Matilah kauuuu baru berapa minggu kerja dah kuat komplen.

Akak dah kenal semua lect2 kat sini pompuan x ramai tak sampai 10 org from 30++

Lepas tu kan. Masa akak mula2 dtg akak tgk kenapa mcm bangunan terbiar kat sini kennnn? sampah sepah2. Daun tak sapu.

Rupanya diorg xde budget bayar cleaner so diorg terminate.

So now, diorg kena buat aktiviti gotong royong bersihkan school setiap bulan.
ok. masuk dlm kpi lect jd cleaner. hahahaha.
Tapi xpe lah disamping ittew bolehlah kau mengeluarkan peluh sebab kau pun dah gemok.

Ya ampunnn uolss kenapakah akak gemok? akak confuse. Akak makan x banyak tapi makin gemok. cemana nih uolsssss... gituuu rintihan.

Untonglah orang havard tu dah kurus kering mcm dekat surrey.

Bye. Nak balik.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Dah start kerja.........errr 3 hari.

Haha. Akak dah start kerja la uols

Alhamdulillah. Tercapai la cita2 nak kerja kat Johor. Senang balik kampung.

Akak ada je apply tempat lain tapi xde rejeki. Akak doa tiap hari moga Allah berikan pekerjaan yang terbaik untuk akak. So dapat kat sini, mungkinkah yg terbaik? Akak pun x dapat jawab sebab baru 3 hari reja.

Pastu sissstorrr.. Server down dah seminggu kekdahnya x boleh nak register dlm system. Kad matrix pun x boleh nak buat. Masa  akak kerja UPM kan pi report duty sap sap soiii half day dah siap.

Stress emak.

Akak kerja apa dan di mana?

Akak kerja hmmmmmm. Di universiti terkemuka hahahaha.

UPM pun terkemuka juga tau. Akak suka kerja kat UPM. Ada tak kerja kosong. Matilahh baru 3 hari kerja.

Skrg musim cuti so akak belum dpt beban tugas lagi dr ketua jabatan. So akak draft journal je lah. Untuk mencapai KPI tahun hadapan.

Igt kerjaan mak boleh relax2? mak fikirkan KPI pun dah stress, bawah 60% matilah kau kena terminate....
Sapa nak bg mak grant? mak nak 20k jewwwww... Larikkkk

iklan